After Sakura!
by ThisIsNotPretend
Summary: Akatsuki kidnaps Sakura. Naruto and the gang go to save her. Karin gets her ass kicked. Team Hebi is also looking for Sakura. And somehow in all this mayhem, Tsunade somehow turns the Jonins all into little kids to wreck havoc on Konoha. Crazy... I know.
1. men in black

Chapter 1

Men in Black

Sakura woke up from a dream she's been having ever since Sasuke left. The one where she's confessing her undying love for him, but he only turns it away to go gain power from that gay bastered Orochimaru.

"**Sakura get a hold of yourself! Sasuke is emo forget about him! Your seventeen now you shouldn't be dreaming about emo people." Inner Sakura said.**

"I do try to forget but, I just can't, and Sasuke-kun is not emo!" Sakura yelled back.

"**Well whatever, you can go fall in love with emo people, but I have some info on a certain guy that's open." Her inner self spoke as she took a picture out her pocket and look at it.**

"Oh? So who would this gut be?" Sakura questioned her inner self.

"**SHINO!" Inner Sakura yelled as she flipped it over to show Sakura.**

"What?! NO WAY!! JUST GO AWAY, YOU'RE NOT HELPING AT ALL!!" Sakura yelled pointing to her inner self who went sulking in a dark corner of Sakura's mind.

"**You're so mean!" Inner Sakura started crying anime tears.**

DING DONG

"I'M COMING, I'M COMING!" Sakura yelled as she ran down stairs to her front door.

"Hurry up Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled from outside of her door.

Sakura opened the door to see Naruto and Sai.

"Gosh, ugly it takes you that long just to get up and put on some clothes?" Sai asked.

"Shut up Sai!"

"Yeah whatever Ugly just hurry up so we can find out the new mission already we're as late as it is though it doesn't matter because Kakashi is always late." Sai said as he walked off to the place where they're supposed to meet.

"Yeah, yeah." Sakura mumbled and ran to catch up with Sai and with Naruto running right behind her. Then all of a sudden Kakashi and Yamoto popped up in front of Sakura while she was still running so she ran into them and since Naruto was right behind her he ran into her so they all fell to the floor. Sai looked behind him to see them all on the floor.

A COUPLE OF MINS. LATER

"Yo, sorry I'm late, I fell down a cliff and broke my legs while sight seeing, so I went to Tsunade to go get healed, but she needed my help first to go get some medicine and I agreed to help. We then set off to the jungle of crazy flying squirrels; we eventually found the plant that Tsunade needed so we came back and she healed me and now look at me I'm as good as new." Kakashi said and let me tell you that that was the longest lame excuse that Kakashi made in the history of lame excuses.

"Kakashi that was the worst excuse ever made." Naruto sighed.

"Fine, fine. Yamoto is also here to explain the new mission." Kakashi lazily said as he took out his orange book.

Naruto, Sakura, and Sai looked to Yamoto to hear what the new mission was all about.

"The new mission you have assigned for you is to find Uchiha Sasuke and bring him back here alive or dead." Yamoto explained.

"Dead or alive?" Sakura questioned.

"Tch. I'm gonna bring Sasuke back alive I promised Sakura-chan that I would bring him back." Naruto said doing the nice guy pose.

Sakura couldn't help but giggle and Sai just rolled his eyes.

"So when are we leaving?" Naruto asked.

"Tomorrow morning in the front of Konoha be there at 7:00 am sharp, kay?" Yamoto said.

"YOSH! TIME TO GET READY!" Naruto yelled as he zoomed off to his house.

"By the time he comes back he'll have his bag full of ramen." Sakura sighed.

Naruto then ran back with three big bags and one little bag.

"Why do you have four bags?" Sai looked to the bags Naruto was holding.

"Well the three big bags are ramen and the little bag is all my ninja gear." Naruto smiled.

'Damn, that's a lot of ramen.' Sakura thought.

Then out of no where there was a big poof and standing in front of them was none other than…

"AHHHHH!! IT'S THE MEN IN BLACK!! THERE HERE TO TAKE ME AWAY!!" Sakura yelled randomly hiding behind Sai.

"You idiot." Sai said moving aside.

"Umm... okay… umm… we are here for that pink haired kunochi, yeah." The blond one said as he lifted his finger to Sakura.

"Deidara stop trying to act like Itachi-san using his genjutsu pointing finger thing." The blue skinned one said.

"Whatever Kisame, yeah." Deidara said as her went to go sulk.

"Thanks Kisame!" Itachi thanked. "Okay now I can use my genjutsu. (A/N: you know that one episode I think it's in shippuuden where Itachi points to Naruto and Naruto is in Itachi's genjutsu thing… yea… and if you didn't see that episode than what I just wrote must be the most stupidest thing you've ever read .)

Suddenly Sakura fell to the floor.

"Wow Itachi-san you haven't even pointed your finger at her yet." Kisame yelled surprised.

"…but I haven't even done anything yet."

"ZOMG! Itachi's finger is a lethal weapon! He doesn't know to control it, yeah!!" Deidara yelled getting up from his sulking just to yell and point to Itachi's finger.

"OMFG! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!" Itachi yelled holding his finger and running back and forth.

"No your finger isn't a lethal weapon I just knocked her out..." Sasori said behind Naruto, Sai, Kakashi, and Yamoto with Sakura in his arms.

"Whoa how do you do that?" Naruto asked al big eyed.

"Do what?" Sasori asked appearing over to Itachi with Sakura still in his arms.

"Whoa you did it again!" Naruto said amazed.

"DAMNIT WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!?" Sasori yelled while handing Itachi Sakura.

"Naruto you idiot they're taking Sakura!"

"Whoa… hey sensei why can't I move that fast? Why, why, why, why, why" Naruto ranted.

By the time Naruto was done with his ranting and realized that Akatsuki had Sakura, Akatsuki was already gone with her.

"Dude, what were you doing Yamoto!? You could have stopped them." Naruto yelled pointing right in front of Yamoto's face.

"Well I guess I didn't do anything because the author didn't write anything about me saving Sakura." Yamoto retorted.

"Hey don't bring me into this." Marisa said. (A/N: sorry I just had to add myself in there it seemed like the perfect moment.)

"Arg!! You people are IDIOTS!!" Naruto yelled stomping off to somewhere.

IN SASUKE'S ROOM AT A HOTEL THAT TEAM HEBI TOOK OVER

"My Sakura and Itachi senses are… are… are…TINGELING!!" Sasuke jumped out of his bed while holding his Sakura doll.

"Itachi must have kidnapped her! I must go save her!" Sasuke ran out of his room while putting his Sakura doll in his pocket. He ran down the hall and down stairs past Juugo, Suigetsu, and Karin then out the door.

"Where is Sasuke-kun going?" Karin asked.

"His so called Sakura and Itachi senses are tingling." Juugo explained while flipping through a book. "So he has to go save her."

"Oh is that so? I wonder who this Sakura chick is. To make Sasuke-sama go in a rush to save someone, she must be very important to him." Suigetsu smirked as he put his hands on his hips.

"Well I don't know who she is but I don't care cause I'm about to go kick her ass." Karin said smacking her fist into her palm and running after Sasuke.

"Sigh, who knew that Karin could get so work up about something so small." Suigetsu walked pasted Juugo who got up from his seat and they both started walking after Sasuke and Karin.

"Though I really do want to find out who this Sakura chick is."

"I don't really care about her right now lets just hurry up and catch up to Karin and Sasuke."

IN THE HOKAGE'S OFFICE

"Tsunade-sama!!" Shizune slammed opened the door only to be tackled down by Tsunade.

"Shizune where is Sakura?!" Tsunade yelled. "Don't tell me she really got kidnapped by Akatsuki!!"

"So you already heard the news?" Shizune asked. "Well Sakura did get… kidnapped."

"WHAT!! MY POOR BABY!! SHIZUNE WE GOT TO GO SAVE HER!!" Tsunade yelled while crying anime tears and lying on the floor rolling back and forth holding a Sakura doll.

"Yes we will save Sakura but first we have to go find available ninjas." Shizune said as she pushed Tsunade off of her and dusted herself off.

"Who cares if they're not available just go get them!" Tsunade pointed to Shizune who nodded and disappeared to find some ninjas.

WITH SAKURA

Sakura slowly opened her eyes to find herself lying on a bed. She looked around to see where she was, but she couldn't see anything except one window that was covered by a curtain.

"Where am I?"

"You're at Akatsuki."

"Who said that?!" Sakura said now being on guard.

Then in the darkest corner of the room (though every corner was the darkest corner.) a figure came and sat next on a chair next to Sakura.

"Whoa it's the men in black, someone save me they're gonna take me away!!" She yelled as she grabbed the sheets and covered herself under them.

"Sigh." The person grabbed the sheets and pulled them down to see Sakura making tea.

"What the hell?"

"Oh no they found out about our secret tea party Mr. Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled grabbing the Sasuke doll next to her.

"I won't even ask."

"Hey wait I know you… you're… your Elmo aren't you! I knew I recognized your red hair from somewhere." Sakura said as she pointed to his hair.

"What? NO! I'm Sasori!" Sasori yelled at Sakura's face.

"ZOMG!! SASORI HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO HAUNT ME!!" Sakura then hid under the covers once again.

"**You should have thrown the tea in his face!" Inner Sakura yelled.**

"Sigh, this is gonna be so hard to get information out of you." Sasori mumbled to himself as he got up and walked out the door and locked it with a jutsu.

'People today.' Sakura thought to herself as she looked down to the Sasuke doll that she still in her hands.

INSIDE THE AKATSUKI LOUNGE

"So how did it go Sasori- danna, yeah?" Deidara looked over to the stairs to see Sasori walking down them.

"Terrible. First she yelled that I was the men in black again and hid under the covers. I flipped over the covers and saw her having a tea party with a Sasuke doll." Sasori said as he took a seat next to Itachi.

"…?" Itachi gave a weird look to Sasori as he went on talking.

"She then thought I was Elmo cause of my red hair." Sasori then rubbed his hair. "I then told her I was Sasori. She then starting yelling that I came back from the dead to haunt her, and hid under the covers again."

"Whoa looks like pinky gave you a tough time, huh?" Kisame said as he walked down the stairs and sat next to Deidara.

"Lol, Sasori can't even handle a little pink haired kunochi, yeah!" Deidara laughed.

"LMAO!" Kisame… erm… laughed… yelled… whatever.

"Shut up!" Sasori yelled. "Like you could do any better!"

"Tch. At least I won't be called elmo!" Kisame yelled/laughed then fell out of the chair he was sitting in along with Deidara. They both started cracking up on the floor, while Itachi just snickered.

Sasori stomped up stairs tying so hard not to turn Kisame into some sushi.

BACK AT KONOHA

"My baby!! My poor baby!!" Tsunade was still crying and still holding her Sakura doll.

"As you can see Tsunade-sama really doesn't want to talk with anyone right now so I'll explain the mission for today. Your mission today is to retrieve Sakura-san from Akatsuki." Shizune explained to the ninjas that stood before her.

Everybody was to busy looking at Tsunade to even notice that Shizune was speaking.

"Hello?! Do you want to save Sakura-san or not!?" Shizune yelled grabbing their attention.

"I want to save Sakura-san!" Lee yelled as he barged into the room earning strange looks from everybody.

"Umm... never mind you guys can save her." Lee said as he slowly backed out and closed the door behind him.

"Uhhh... okay then! Naruto-kun, Shikamaru-kun, Neji-kun, Sai-kun, Ino-san, Tenten-san, Hinata-san, you guys are a seven man squad. Sakura-san was kidnapped four hours ago at seven. It is now eleven o' clock so that gives you fifteen minutes to pack you tools and belongings and head for the gate." Shizune explained.

"Okay, but how do we find Akatsuki? None of us knows where it is!" Ino exclaimed.

"Easy just go on map quest." Shizune pointed to the papers in her hand. "I already took the liberty of going on and printing it."

"But I thought you had to know the address of the place for map quest to work." Ino mumbled.

"Ino just drop it." Shikamaru sighed.

"I don't care how you got the address just give me the paper and we'll find her!" Naruto grabbed the papers out of Shizune's hand. He glanced down at the papers; all of a sudden Naruto turned pale and fell to the floor.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata looked at Naruto and then to the papers that Naruto still held in his hands. Curiosity got the better of her. Hinata picked up the papers out of Naruto's hand and looked at them and immediately (sp) turned red.

Shizune looked at the papers and then snatch them out of Hinata's hands and started blushing. "T-t-that's the w-wrong p-p-papers!" Shizune stuttered.

Ino and the rest of them was wondering what was going on. Then they realized something they hadn't before. It was quiet with Naruto knocked out.

"These are the right papers." Shizune said calmly handing Hinata the right papers.

"O-okay." Hinata stuttered grabbing the papers.

"Okay you can go now." Shizune said though they were still staring at Tsunade.

"GO!! GO FIND MY BABY!!" Tsunade finally yelled and they disappeared.

BACK AT AKATSUKI

"Ha! I won again!" Sakura yelled throwing her arms up in the air.

They were playing 'Naruto Clue: Who Killed Lord Hokage?'(A/N: heheh I made up that game in six grade for this toy fair thingy) Sakura won for the tenth time.

"NO FUCKING WAY! YOU CHEATED!!" Hidan yelled puling out his scythe from behind him.

"I wasn't cheating! You were the one who was trying to sneak at my cards!" Sakura yelled as she dodge Hidan's scythe. (Can someone check for me if I'm spelling Hidan's name right.)

"Fine then lets play something else." Hidan suggested putting his scythe away.

"Like what?" Kisame asked.

"Let's play dress up Deidara-senpei as a girl!" Tobi yelled popping out from behind Deidara almost giving him a heart attack.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good game." Zetsu said.

"So can we do it Deidara-senpei?" Tobi asked innocently.

"No, yeah!" Deidara yelled getting up from his seat.

"Was that a no or a yeah?" Itachi questioned.

"It was a no, yeah!" Deidara yelled

"Whateva girlfriend!" Kisame said as he snapped his fingers.

"Okay weirdo." Kakuzu said giving Kisame a weird look.

"Ugh! You're so mean!" Kisame yelled in a high pitched voice as he ran upstairs into his room.

"Well even though dressing Deidara up as a girl does sound tempting, I had something else in mind." Hidan said glancing over to Sakura.

"Like what…?" Sakura asked again.

"Like dressing Deidara-senpei up as a girl!" Tobi yelled again.

"Shut up Tobi, yeah!" Deidara yelled chasing Tobi upstairs.

"Everyone likes interrupting my sentences..."

"Well just hurry up and say it already and maybe you won't get interrupted." Sasori said resting his chin in the palm of his hand.

"Lets pla—

"Dress up Deidara-senpei up as a girl!" Tobi once again yelled interrupting Hidan's sentence.

"AAAAAAARRGGG!! TOBI SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Hidan yelled to Tobi as he ran down the stairs with Deidara still chasing him. Tobi then tripped and rolled down the stairs then Deidara tripped over Tobi and they both rolled down the stairs and into the wall. Kisame then came down the stairs with a box of tissue wiping his teary eyes.

"I'm okay now, really I am." Kisame said as he threw the box of tissue out the window.

"You baka! That was our last box of tissue I bought!!" Kakuzu yelled getting up from his seat and running towards the window.

"Opps, sorry." Kisame said looking out the window besides Kakuzu. Kakuzu glanced over to Kisame and grinned evily and pushed Kisame out the window. You could hear Kisame yelling until you heard a big 'plop' then you know he hit the ground.

"Being on the seventh floor does have its advantage." Kakuzu said and then looked out the window and then to Itachi.

"Itachi I think your gonna need a new partner." Zetsu said as he looked out the window and then towards Itachi.

"Hn."

"People need to learn proper English." Sakura said pointing to Itachi.

"Hn."

"Hey! You can't 'hn' me! You can 'hn' Zetsu and everyone else, but not me, cause I'll 'hn' you right back!" Sakura yelled to the older Uchiha clearly pissed off.

"Hn."

Sakura then smirked and decided to play Itachi's game.

"Hn." Sakura decided Itachi should get a taste of his own medicine.

"Hn." Itachi didn't really seem to mind at all.

"Hn." Sakura then came to realize that this was a waste of her time doing this.

"Hn."

"AGH! Shut up Itachi!" Sakura yelled while leaping in the air towards Itachi, but suddenly she was on some cross like thing and that's when Sakura realized that she was in his Tsukuyomi the Nightmare Realm jutsu.

Itachi then appeared in front of Sakura with a sword in his hand.

"I control time, space, and gravity. For the next 72 hours you will experience uncontrollable pain." Then Itachi stabbed Sakura in the side, but instead of a painful cry from Sakura's mouth, laughter came out.

"What the? You're not suppose to be laughing you're suppose to be in pain!!1111!!11! one!1!!1!1" Itachi yelled to the laughing kunochi.

"Well I can't help it if you're stabbing me in my ticklish stop!!" Sakura said between her laughs.

'What is this kunochi for real?' Itachi thought to himself.

"Well you won't be so ticklish after I stab you again!" Itachi stabbed Sakura again, but she kept on laughing harder and harder.

"Dude, cut-hahahahahahaah- it out you're-hahahahahahahaahahahaahaha- gonna make me-hahahahahahahahaha- pee my pants if you keep on stabbing me on my ticklish side-hahahahahahahahahahahahah!!"

72 hours past which didn't seem like a long time to Sakura since she was laughing the whole time, but to Itachi I seemed like the thing lasted forever. They got out of the jutsu and Sakura was still flying towards Itachi who was still sitting on the chair, who seemed like he was going through a series of expressions. Through on the other hand Sakura was still laughing her asian ass off(a/n: also if you thin that me saying that Sakura was laughing her asain ass off and your getting all mad at me because of it then I suggest you go to anger management P)

Sakura tackled Itachi in his chair and they both fell back in the chair.

Sakura Got up quickly jumping from leg to leg then running up stairs yelling, "How can you find a bathroom in this place?! It's way too big!!

WITH THE NARUTO GANG

"Great, we're lost in the middle of now where!" Ino yelled pissed.

"How can you get lost when you have a map from map quest?!" Tenten yelled pissed too.

"Well it said to take a right at an oak tree! I'm mean how hard is it to find a damn oak tree?!" Ino yelled

"Look around you Ino! Every tree around us is oak!!" Hinata yelled pointing to all the trees around her.

"Well then sorry I'm not as good as a tree hugger as you are Hinata!!" Ino yelled back.

"HEY! Tree hugging has nothing to do with this Ino!!" Hinata yelled grabbing the papers out of Ino hands.

"It doesn't say oak tree it says pine!! Your such a baka you baka!!" Hinata yelled to Ino pointing to the paper.

"Hinata I'll fucking kill you for being so damn smart!!" Ino yelled pointing a finger at Hinata's face.

"Eww, don't point that friggin' sausage finger in my face." Hinata said smacking Ino's finger out of her face.

"Shut up Hinata!!" Ino yelled turning red.

"Ino calm down, please." Shikamaru said twenty feet away from the girls with the rest of the guys.

"Shikamaru I am calm, I am- DAMN HINATA I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" Ino yelled jumping towards Hinata who put Shikamaru between her and Ino. Ino stopped in mid- air not wanting to hurt Shikamaru, she growled at Hinata as Shikamaru slowly took Ino from the air and took her ten feet away from Hinata.

"You guys, have you've forgotten why we're going through all this trouble?! Remember we're all trying to save Sakura." Neji said reminding everyone.

Then out of no where Sasuke Jumped on Neji and jumped off and kept heading southeast. There were three people tagging long. One fugly girl with red hair that was brushed on one side and the other side was all messy, then behind her was a guy that had long silver hair that went to his shoulders and on his back a sword that looked like Zabuza's, and behind him was a big looking guy that had orange spiky hair. (Okay you guys already know who it is, but I felt like explaining anyways. P) The dude with Spiky orange hair looked SUSPICIOUS to Sai.

"SASUKE!!" Naruto yelled jumping after Sasuke.

"Naruto- kun!" Hinata yelled going after Naruto until Ino put her hand in front of Hinata making her stop in her tracks.

"NO WAY BITCH! I GO FIRST!" Ino yelled and jumped after Naruto with Hinata and the rest of the gang behind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**YAY! I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THE FIRST CHAPTER! D**

**Now I gotta start writing the second chapter because I think its longer then this chapter! O**

**Great… my fingers hurt already**

**Well anywhos please review! **


	2. the chase and turning into kids

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The chase and turning into kids

Naruto and the gang were still chasing after Sasuke and those weird looking people behind him. Naruto started getting pissed because he almost swallowed a bug because jumping after Sasuke so fast.

"DAMNIT SASUKE STOP JUMPING SO FAST!!" Naruto now picking up his pace.

"Naruto-kun! Stop speeding up!" Hinata yelled after him trying to keep up with the blond.

"Naruto." Shikamaru called lazily from behind Tenten, "Can you still see Sasuke?"

"Yeah, he's still jumping, he's now landing on a branch, the branch broke, he's now falling, falling, falling, falling some more, oh, he hit the ground, he's now twitching. The girl with fugly red hair jumps down to the ground and tries comforting him. Sasuke pushed her off him and now he's using his Fire Ball Jutsu on her, and that's all I can see." Naruto said.

"THAT GIRL TRIED TO HUG SASUKE?! ONLY SAKURA IS ALLOWED TO DO THAT!!" Hinata yelled jumping to the ground to Sasuke.

"YEAH!" Tenten and Ino yelled also jumping to Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun, are you sure you don't need a hug from me?" Karin asked innocently.

"Yeah, I'm 100 sure I don't need you touching me. Now… I MUST GO SAVE **MY** SAKURA!!" Sasuke yelled to the sky getting up from the ground.

"Oh, umm… Sasuke-kun, who is this Saku-." Karin was got cut off by Hinata, Ino, and Tenten jumping on her.

"WHOA! CAT FIGHT! THREE AGAINST ONE! AWESOME!" Suigetsu yelled getting all excited that Karin might get her ass kicked.

Hinata was on Karin's back pulling on her fugly red hair, Ino was in front of Karin holding her arms, while Tenten drew things on Karin's face with a sharpie, and then she went to go hold down Karin's legs.

"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO HUG SASUKE, YOU RED HAIRED BITCH!!" Hinata pulled Karin's hair harder making Karin scream.

"You scream like a man." Ino said into Karin's face.

"Sasuke-kun! Help me!" Karin pleaded looking over to Sasuke who looked down at her. Suigetsu then got Sasuke's attention.

"No don't help her! This is your perfect chance to go and get away from Karin Sasuke-sama! Suigetsu yelled trying to his point through Sasuke thick emo head.

"Karin… I am not sorry but, I must go save… **MY **SAKURA!!" Sasuke then jumped off the ground and jumped through the trees with Suigetsu and Juugo close behind.

"WHAT!? WAIT SASUKE-KUN! DAMNIT! WHO THE HELL IS THIS SAKURA BITCH!!" Karin yelled in frustration.

Hinata pulled Karin's Hair harder and said, "Sakura is the most beautiful, most powerful and nicest girl in all of Konoha and she's not a bitch! You're the bitch!" Hinata yelled then she let one her hands let go of Karin's hair and pointed to Ino. Karin noticed and asked, "What the hell are you guys doing?!" Karin saw Ino pull something out of her pouch.

Ino smirked and said, "Nighty night." Then she sprayed some knock out gas in Karin's face.

"Whoa, why do I fell all slee-?" Karin then closed her eyes and fell asleep. Hinata then dropped Karin's head while Ino and Tenten let go of her Legs and arms.

"Wait Hinata, before we go, shouldn't we warn people about her? I mean look at her! She's **CRAZY!!**" Ino pointed to Karin as she said this.

"You're absolutely right Ino. Here." Hinata then pulled a blank piece of paper and a stick and handed it to Tenten, "You guys make the sign."

WITH THE GUYSA COUPLE OF FEET AWAY FROM THE GIRLS

"Damn. I never knew that Hinata-san was so strong. Neji said as the other guys nodded their heads.

BACK WITH THE GIRLS

"Okay, done!" Ino placed the sign in the ground next to Karin's head and if that wasn't obvious for people they put and arrow that was pointing to Karin. The sign said…

**BE CAREFUL!**

**CRAZY FUGLY GIRL!**

**SHE'LL KILL YOU WITH HER FUGLYNESS!**

**IF YOU LIKE YOU MAY KICK HER **

"Good job! Okay now let's get a move on girls!" Tenten yelled.

"Right!" all them yelled.

WITH KAKASHI AND THE JONINS

"KAKASHI! MY ARCH RIVAL!!" Gai ran up to Kakashi who was reading his, oh so famous orange porno book.

"Hmm?" Kakashi looked up to see Gai standing in front of him doing the nice guy pose.

"What is it Gai?" Kakashi said as he went back to reading his book.

"KAKASHI! WHERE ARE ALL OF OUR YOUTHFUL STUDENTS?!"

"Well, Lee is on a mission with you… umm… I guess you forgot?" Kakashi said flipping a page in his book.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I LEFT LEE TO THAT MISSION AS TRAINING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Gai once again did the nice guy pose.

"I see." Kakashi said, "Well the other students… well actually I have no clue where they are." Kakashi said rubbing the back of his head while doing a nervous laugh.

"WHAT?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE OUR YOUTHFUL STUDENTS ARE?!"

"What are you guys yelling about now?" Kurenai asked walking up to Kakashi and Gai with Asuma, Aoba, Izumo, and Genma.

"The whole entire village can hear you yelling Gai." Genma said moving around the senbom (A/N: I really don't know how to spell that thing that Genma has in his mouth but I think that's how you spell it.)

"AH! KURENAI, ASUMA!! DO YOU KNOW WHERE OUR YOUTHFUL NINJA'S OF KONOHA ARE?!" Gai asked looking over to them who were plugging their ears because of Gai loud yelling.

"You mean our teams? Well… no that you've mentioned it… I haven't seen all day." Kurenai answer.

"Me too." Asuma added.

"YOU PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUTHFULIF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOUR YOUTHFUL STUDENTS ARE!! SO I, GAI, THE YOUTHFULNEST JONIN HERE WILLG O RESCUE OUR YOUTHFUL STUDENT FROM WHATEVER YOUTHFUL PLACE THEY ARE, AND BRING THEM BACK TO YOU UNYOUTHFUL JONINS! BUT, NEJI AND TENTEN HAVE A YOUTHFUL JONIN, ME! BUT NONE OF YOU KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!" Gai finally finished his youthful sentences.

"Ummm… can you repeat that?" Aoba asked.

"Umm… Gai you don't know where your students are either doesn't that mean you're unyouthful too?" Asuma questioned.

"OMG! YOU'RE RIGHT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Gai yelled in his imaginary sunset next to the ocean.

WITH SASUKE, SUIGETSU, AND JUUGO

"Good job Sasuke-sama; you got rid of that annoying fugly red head bitch!" Suigetsu said grinning.

"Hn."

"Juugo, you know you really haven't said that much since we left the hotel we took over." Suigetsu said not bothering to look back at him.

"…"

"Juugo, you know it's very rude not to say anything back when a person is tal- JUUGO?! Suigetsu finally turned his head back to look at him only to see that Juugo was playing a…

WITH AKATSUKI

"Damn, your base is soooooooooooooooooo big! How can you find a bathroom in this place?" Sakura said as she walked down the stairs to Itachi.

"What? You've still haven't found it?" Itachi asked Sakura as she took a sit across from him.

Sakura shook her head, "No, I found it, but I took me like twenty minutes to!" Sakura yelled.

"Wow it's been twenty minutes already?" Itachi asked looking up to the hanging clock on the wall.

"Itachi!" Sakura yelled.

"Well, didn't Zetsu give you a map of the place to find where everything is?" Itachi asked and Sakura's face turned red.

"WHAT?! ZETSU DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY DAMN MAP!! MAN!! IF I HAD THE MAP IT WOULDN'T HAVE TALKEN ME TWENTY MINUTES TO FIND THE BATHROOM!!" Sakura yelled stomping back upstairs.

"Where are you going?" Itachi asked as she walked up the stairs.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Sakura yelled.

WITH HINATA, INO, TENTEN, AND THE GUYS

"Hinata, slow down!" Neji pleaded trying to keep up with the girls.

"WHERE IS SAUKE DATTEBAYO?!" Naruto yelled jumping ahead of the girls.

"NARUTO STOP YELLING DATTEBAYO!" Ino yelled as the girls got back up in the front.

"HEY! I'M SUPPOSE TO BE IN THE FRONT!" Naruto yelled jumping ahead of the girls again.

"They think it's a race, huh?" Sai said sighing as he started jumping faster.

"I guess so." Shikamaru smirked picking up the pace.

"What happen to the weak little Hinata that I was stronger than go?" Neji mumbled also picking up his pace.

BACK WITH THE JONINS

"SINCE I BECAME UNYOUTHFUL IT'S TIME TO CALL IN BACK UP!" Gai ran to a phone booth and dialed a random number.

"_Hello?"_ the person on the other line answered.

"YES, IS THIS THE, IM NOT YOUTHFUL ANYMORE, SO I HAVE TO CALL BACK UP TO MAKE ME YOUTHFUL AGAIN?!" Gai yelled into the phone.

"_NO! This is the Akats- I mean… umm… erm…."_

Gai could hear the person talking into the people in the back round.

"_Kisame! Is the phone for me!?" _Gai heard a female voice talking in the back round.

"_NO IT ISN'T PINKY!... Hey Itachi-san… this guy on the phone is asking if we're the youthful group or something like that. What do I say?... Okay."_

"HELOOOOO?! IS ANYONE THERE?!" Gai yelled while the people outside of the phone booth were giving him strange looks along with the six jonins who were waiting outside of the phone booth for Gai.

"HELOOOOOO?!" Gai yelled again.

"_WHAT?! CAN'T YOU HEAR I'M TALKING TO SOMEONE!?"_ The person on the other line yelled to Gai.

"IS THIS THE YOUTHFUL SQUAD OR NOT?!" Gai yelled so loud that the glass in the phone booth broke.

"NO!! IT'S THE AKATSUKI! WAIT! NO! SHIT! UHH… YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT! UMM… OH! Ahem, we are the Limited 2 store." Then the person on the other line hung up. Though Gai being as dumb witted as he is didn't know that the person on the other line hung up, so he just keep yelling hello into the phone.

"HELLO?! HELLOOOOO?! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!?"

WITH TSUNADE AND SHIZUNE

"SHIZUNE!" Tsunade yelled.

"Yes Tsunade-sama?" Shizune walked in the Hokage's office and up to Tsunade who was sitting at her desk. Tsunade made her desk into a Sakura shrine.

"I need another Sakura doll! This doll is all soaking wet from my tears!" Tsunade yelled throwing the wet Sakura doll in the pile of wet Sakura dolls in the corner of the room.

"Yes Tsunade-sama." Shizune the pulled a Sakura doll out of her sleeve and handed it to Tsunade who looked at it and started balling.

"SHIZUNE! WHERE IS MY PRECIOUS BABY!?" Tsunade got up and started shaking Shizune back and forth. In the process of being shook, by Tsunade, Shizune accidentally let go of the Sakura doll. It bounced off Tsunade's head and out the window.

"NO!! SAKURA DARLING!!" Tsunade jumped out of the window trying to catch the Sakura doll.

"TSUNADE-SAMA!!" Shizune yelled grabbing Tsunade's feet. Shizune tried pulling her up but, she was too heavy.

BACK WITH THE JONINS

"Hey Kakashi, isn't that Tsunade-sama and Shizune?" Genma asked pointing to the Hokage's tower with Tsunade and Shizune dangling out the window.

"OH WAIT!" Kakashi yelled.

"What?" Izumo asked.

"HELLOOOOOO?!" Gai yelled still in the phone booth.

"I just remembered what happened to Sakura and the others.

"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!" Gai stilled yelled.

"You do? Well, where are they?" Kurenai asked.

"Well, if you really must know. Sakura got kidnapped by Akatsuki and all the teams except Shino, Kiba, and Lee went to go rescue Sakura from Akatsuki." Kakashi explained.

"Well then, since the teams are taking care of saving Sakura we don't have to worry, right? So… LET'S WRECK HAVOC ON, KONOHA!!" Aoba yelled grabbing a torch and a pitch fork.

"Yeah!" All them yelled.

"But first let's go save Tsunade-sama." Asuma suggested.

"Yeah, you're right."

WITH TSUNADE AND SHIZUNE

"Tsunade-sama, why are you so heavy?" Shizune asked using all her might trying to pull Tsunade back up but, no luck.

"SHIZUNE, LET. ME. GO! I NEED TO SAVE MY SAKURA DOLL THAT'S FALLING TO HER DOOM!!" Tsunade then started moving around making it harder for Shizune to keep a hold of her. Shizune's hands slipped and Tsunade fell, fell, and fell. Tsunade while falling caught her Sakura doll and cradled it closed to her.

Shizune saw the six jonins walking right where Tsunade was falling, so she yelled, "Izumo catch Tsunade-sama!"

Izumo nodded and caught Tsunade. Shizune sighed in relief.

Izumo let Tsunade down who was still holding her Sakura doll.

"HELLOOOOOOOOOO?!" Gai was still yelling in the phone.

"Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, Izumo, Genma, Aoba, and Gai… okay forget Gai, the rest of you come with me to my office." Tsunade ordered, so they went to the office.

INSIDE THE OFFICE

Once they were inside the office Tsunade asked if any of them new where her Sakura was or where the rest of the teams were. Kakashi then explained everything to Tsunade. Tsunade got super pissed.

"WHAT! KAKASHI IT WAS YOUR FAULT WHY SAKURA WAS KIDNAPPED?! Tsunade yelled just realizing what Kakashi just explained and realizing that it was all Kakashi's fault for all this havoc.

"Yes Tsunade-sama." Tiffany muttered as he bowed his head.

"Well, never mind, you saved me from falling to my death, so… let's have a drink." Tsunade searched in her desk and took out eight cups and one bottle of sake and put the bottle next to another bottle on her desk that still was a Sakura shrine.

"So that's where you've been hiding them!?" Shizune pointed to the sake bottle.

Tsunade all the sake cups to everyone even Shizune. Tsunade then grabbed the bottle next to the sake bottle and poured it into everyone's cups. Everyone took a sip of their sake except Tsunade. Everyone except Tsunade went poof.

Tsunade looked down and smirked at the sight. Shizune and all of the jonins were turned into little kids.

"WHAT?!" Tsunade-sama, why did you do this?" Mini Shizune asked pointing her littler finger at Tsunade.

"Tsunade-sama, why did you change us all into kids?" Genma asked surprisingly being calm about the new him.

"Hey, look at the bright side." Aoba said, "At least are clothes still fit!"

Everyone glared at him.

"Sorry just trying to point out the bright side." Mini Aoba said.

"Well, anyways, this is what you guys get for not taking care of my precious Sakura!" Tsunade yelled taking a sip of the kid changing potion forgetting that it wasn't sake. Tsunade went with a poof and was turned into a little kid too.

Tsunade looked down at herself, then looked back up to the Jonins and Shizune. Tsunade did a nervous laugh.

"Tsunade-sama, how old are we?" Izumo asked.

"Umm… five years old.

WITH AKATSUKI AND SAKURA

Sakura sat in a chair in a dark room, until a bright light turned on and was aimed right tin her face. Her eyes adjusted to the light and saw all of Akatsuki sitting at a desk in front of her.

Sakura was being interrogated.

WITH NARUTO AND THE GANG

"Okay, we're here." Naruto pointed to the lit up sign that was hanging above the door to get into the Akatsuki that said THE AKATSUKI and a little piece a paper next to it that said 'and Tobi'

WITH KARIN

Karin woke up and lifted her head only to be hit in the head with broken branch and get knocked out again by a little boy who read the sign.

WITH TEAM HEBI

"HOW CAN YOU PLAY THAT?!" Suigetsu yelled to Juugo who looked away from Suigetsu and kept playing his…

WITH GAI

"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO??

WITH THE JONINS AND TSUNADE

"Five years old? Oh wait, that's good!" Kurenai yelled to them.

"How is that good?" Asuma asked her.

"Well since we're gonna wreck havoc on Konoha it's better to have little bodies because it'll make us sneakier than with our older bodies!" Kurenai said making her point.

"YES! GOOD IDEA!" Tsunade yelled getting Kurenai's point

Everyone looked over to Tsunade.

"Umm.. you're not mad that we're wrecking havoc on Konoha?" Kakashi asked.

"Pssh no. Have you known how long I've wanted to do what you guys are doing?" Tsunade asked, "Well a long time, and the place where I wanted to start my havoc is a food store. (A/N:when I wrote this I was imagining t all in Costco sp. So imagen it as Costco In the next chapter it'll make a lot more sense.)

All the Jonins smiled as they marched out the door and to the store.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**YES! I'M NOW DONE WITH THE SECOND CHAPTER THANK YOU!**

**THE THIRD CHAPTER WILL BE ON IT'S WAY SHORTLY!**

**HOPED YOU ENJOYED AND PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. author note and a preview :D

**OMG!! MY COMPUTER IS UP AND RUNNING AGAIN YAY!! AND I FINALLY GOT MICROSOFT WORD!! YAY!! So I shall be updating this weekend I promise, I would update sooner put, u know, with school and all the homework, and my social teacher gives my class a project to do every other week, so yea right now I got to do like, 2 projects, but there easy so no worries! Now I know most of u are all like, god damnit! I thought she wrote another chapter but it's a stupid author's note!! BUT IT ISN'T!!**

**Since I made you guys wait sooooooo long I decided to give you a quick preview of the next chapter of After Sakura!! Yay! (Claps happily) ok so I hope u enjoy this and look forward to the rest of the long chapter :D **

Chapter 3

Hair problems

DUN dun duuuuuuuun XD

"Omigosh! It's amazing!" All of the little Jonin's stood inside the store, they were all amazed at how much bigger it was inside than it looked outside.

"Well, let's go!"

WITH SAKURA BEING INTORROGRATED

Sakura sat calmly on an uncomfortable wooden chair with her hands tied behind her, and with a bright ass light, shining in her face. All of the Akatsuki sat in front of her behind a big long desk. She was waiting patiently for one of them to say something, but none of them did… so Sakura decided to say, or rather yell something.

"CAN NONE OF YOU GUYS TALK?! I MEAN, C'MON, I'VE BEEN GODDAMN SITTING HERE IN THIS UNCOMFORTABLE WOODEN CHAIR WITH THIS BRIGHT ASS LIGHT BLINDING ME TO DEATH, WHILE YOU GUYS SIT OVER THERE IN COMFORTABLE CHAIRS' WHERE THERE'S _NO_ LIGHT AT ALL. SO CAN WE HURRY THIS UP, BECAUSE I HAVE AN ATTENTION SPAN OF A FUCKIN' FISH AND THAT'S ONLY 3 FUCKIN' SECONDS!!"

All of the Akatsuki stared at her like if she was crazy or something. Then one of them with silver hair that was gelled back leaned over to the Leader. "Hey, Leader, I like this one, can I trade Kakuzu for her?"

"No Hidan, you can't, you can only get a new partner if Kakuzu died." Leader explained.

"Hmmmm… died you say?" Hidan looked over evilly at Kakuzu and started chuckling. Kakuzu just sighed and shook his head back and forth.

"Hey Kakuzu, wanna come with me to walk my scythe in a dark alley where no one can hear you scream- I mean, giggle while you pet my scythe?" Hidan offered while grinning like a mad man.

"Hidan, if you're gonna try to kill me, don't make it so obvious." Kakuzu said shedding some light on Hidan.

"Can you two shut up? You sound like a old married couple." Kisame said, making Kakuzu and Hidan glare at him.

"Be quiet, we're not here to talk about how Hidan and Kakuzu's relationship is going down the drain, we're here to interrogate Sakura-san." Zetsu's light said reminded.

"Oh and Hidan, if you do kill Kakuzu, give _me_ the body…… uhhhhh, you know, for safe keeping!" Zetsu's Dark side added.

"Okaaaaaay, wieeeeeeeerdoooooo." Deidara mumbled.

"OH, OH!! TOBI HAS A QUESTION FOR SAKURA-CHAN!!" Tobi yelled waving his hands frantically in the air, and in the process smacking Deidara in the head, making him fall over dramatically on Sasori.

Sasori glared at Deidara, "Deidara get off of me now."

Deidara didn't move, so Sasori just threw him on the floor and left him there. Kisame looked at him and snickered.

"Now that's a old married couple."

"All of you shut up, Tobi has a question." Leader said, getting all of them to shut their mouths.

"Will you be Tobi's friend?"

"Uhhh… sure?"

"That's a stupid question! That tells us nothing about her!" Kisame said standing up.

"Then why don't you ask her a question, Kisame?" Hidan asked resting his chin in the palm of his hand.

"OK, fine I will." Kisame cleared his throat and sighed, "Is your hair naturally pink?"

Sakura sighed. '_Why can't people just believe that my hair is pink?'_

"AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! AND THIS IS COMING FROM A PERSON WHO HAS BLUSE SKIN!! AND IS HALF SHARK!!" Hidan yelled laughing his ass off.

"Yeah, it's naturally pink."

"Ok, that's enough questions, I'm leaving." Kakuzu said getting up from his chair.

"What are you talking about; we only asked Sakura two questions so far!" Deidara pointed out.

"Yes and in my opinion that's enough. And besides unlike you guy's I have a life." Kakuzu said.

"Pfft, you think counting money every other hour is a life?" Hidan smirked, "I should get Deidara do go blow up all your money!"

"Whatever have fun with your money Kakuzu." Kisame said pushing him out.

"Okay, since you guys have officially wasted your time arguing about nothing, it's my turn to ask questions." Sakura said crossing her legs.

"Pein gave her a look that said 'what the hell do you think you're doing 'with an 'okay I'm waiting' mixed in it.

"I'd like to pick my own partners and trade around with partners whenever. "

"But-

"No buts', if you guys want me to join, I'm going to trade around." Sakura said cutting off Kisame.

"So you'll join Akatsuki?" Itachi asked, Sakura didn't even realize he was there until now.

"Yeah, it's not like I have anything better to do."

"Okay, you'll find your ring and cloak in your room." Leader informed.

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! FINALLY I GET MY OWN ROOM!!" Sakura yelled happily moving her legs up and down.

"What do you mean finally, you haven't even been here for a whole day." Sasori pointed out.

"Yeah, but when you're in a house a sexy S- class criminals, time tends to go by really fast." Sakura grinned.

WITH GAI

"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?? (Yes, he's still at the telephone booth)

'_If you like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.'_

"……….. HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO??"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ok that's all I'm gonna give you for now. I know, I'm so evil :D

Well don't worry it might take a few days though since my social studies teacher just gave us a surprise project… ugh…. And because I'm gonna make this chapter longer than the other ones, yessssss ahaha

Well until then kiddies!


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